Wednesday 17 February 2010

Mixed krill

15st 4lb, 2.0 units. Mrs H’s birthday. I thought I had prepared for this quite well, until it emerged in conversation last night that Mrs H was hoping to receive two presents from her small immediate family: one from her husband and one from The Baby. Perhaps it is because he hasn’t been well, or perhaps it’s just because he’s never been around on Mummy’s birthday before, but the thoughtless little sod hadn’t remembered to buy her anything, even though I know for a fact that he has over £700 in his own account in a top London bank. It’s just self, self, self with some people, isn’t it?

It was a stroke of luck, in the circumstances, that I had happened to spot a birthday card showing a baby’s hands mawkishly holding out a heart with “Mum” engraved on it when I was buying my own birthday card at Fenwick’s of Bond Street last week, and had bought it so that we could share a laugh at such execrable taste. Now I hastily regrouped and wrote a loving message in it on The Baby’s behalf.

I handed the two cards over with a bracelet from Tiffany that they had kept firmly hidden under the counter and only produced, with an inadequately suppressed shudder, when I threatened to give such a detailed description of it, from a fleeting glimpse I had enjoyed on the internet, that it risked putting off their other and more important customers. Still, Mrs H seemed to like it. Which was good. The hallmarks were a bit too small for me to decipher, but it looked distinctly silver and I take encouragement from the fact that her arm has not turned green so far.

I took Mrs H and The Baby ought for a slap-up lunch at the finest pub restaurant in the area, regardless of expense and only slightly resentful of the fact that The Baby’s bank has so far failed to supply him with a debit card. Mrs H ate lobster and steak, a combination which has always seemed a Step Too Far to me. I had a mixed grill, thinking that really I should have gone for a mixed krill as I look and feel increasingly like a bloody whale.

1 comment:

CC said...

Happy Birthday to the Mrs.
Sounds like a lovely time was had by all
(reading between the lines in what could hardly
be rated a true rant). ;-)