Saturday 2 February 2008

What could possibly go wrong?

14st 10lb; zero alcohol; 1,463; Faeroes.

The TV news last night was all about the horrors of the weather. It included a classic “going live” moment to a reporter standing next to a snowbound French truck on the A66 somewhere near Bowes. As she explained how the road was completely impassable and would remain closed until the morning, we were treated to the sight of a set of red tail lights proceeding at high speed from left to right across the screen behind her. I haven’t chuckled so much at an item like that since I saw Fyfe Robertson on Tonight as a boy, explaining how Bradford had been brought to a virtual standstill by an all-out bus strike. As he spoke a double-decker bus trundled very slowly past behind him, with the driver staring determinedly towards the camera.

I'm going out and may be some time: the snowy hell of the Cheviots

My brilliantly camouflaged neighbours: the one I fancy is on the left

Still, the weather in this part of Northumberland is not too bad at all, really. Just a dusting of snow, and rather a lot of ice clinging to the eaves and gutters, and periodically crashing onto the conservatory roof. It’s still extremely cold, but eminently bearable for a walk. Which I needed, as I seem to have put on two pounds overnight, no doubt the result of eating one of Sir Stuart’s powerful M&S curries to shift my man flu. I’ve said before that I’m not entirely convinced about the accuracy of his calorie counts. On the other hand I feel 100% better than I did yesterday, so who cares? I’ve still got seven weeks until Easter, by which time I need to lose a further 10lbs to achieve my target. I mean, be honest: what could possibly go wrong?

1 comment:

lassieinthelakes said...

At least you survived the 12 year-old curry! (And the girlfriend) Could be like malt whiskey - improves with age. Hope you are on the mend. And, by the way, if the mirror could fall in the bath and hit you on the head it means it's behind you so you don't have to look and it will be steamed up anyway etc etc ..... I know you probably think I'm some filmstar sheep dog (clever enough to type too!)from the name but trying to reflect your own blogname to my own location and description without using the female L-word wasn't so easy. Anyway I like dogs. And elephants. And guineapigs....