tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8864051577474343717.post5001086974403478136..comments2019-01-02T10:25:47.493+00:00Comments on Bloke in the North: These boots weren't made for walkingKeith Hannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11731343774180793742noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8864051577474343717.post-4984681072824975652008-04-07T10:09:00.000+01:002008-04-07T10:09:00.000+01:00The problem in answering your first question is th...The problem in answering your first question is that I did not actually notice what the boots were made from. This suggests a fatal flaw in the strategy of wearing them if they were designed to attract me. All I did notice is that they were, as John Reid might well have said, not fit for purpose.<BR/><BR/>Ironically, when we finally got to The Ivy she invited me to have a fumble in her handbag. Naturally I expected to find a gross of the condoms that well-prepared ladies customarily order from Ocado, according to one of your earlier comments. But what I actually encountered was a pair of flat shoes which I think could be described as ballet pumps. I think this was designed to demonstrate that she had come prepared for all eventualities, though evidently she shared your view that they are "horrid" and had not been able to face putting them on when the alternative of a life-threatening cycle rickshaw presented itself.<BR/><BR/>If you would like to test the theory that The Ivy is at least eight minutes from Covent Garden on foot, please arrange to present yourself in Bow Street sometime to test this. I shall be wearing sensible brogues and carrying a stop watch. But you must feel entirely free to wear stilettos and a skirt too tight to permit the attainment of a sensible walking pace.<BR/><BR/>Since I failed to respond to your earlier comment re being a single gal who lays in stocks of condoms, let me make it clear that I am a Geordie who is repelled by such things as I don't take a shower in my mac or go paddling in my wellies (for more in the same vein, see Sid The Sexist in Viz comic, passim). Added to which, I have signally failed to impregnate anyone during three decades of dodgily protected (though admittedly rather incompetent) sexual activity, so I think the risk from me must be pretty low. If you should happen to have an attractive younger sister who would enjoy the mild excitement of such an encounter, please put her in touch.Keith Hannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11731343774180793742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8864051577474343717.post-2870960990254191402008-03-29T08:00:00.000+00:002008-03-29T08:00:00.000+00:00Oh dear, oh dear...your ignorance of the essential...Oh dear, oh dear...your ignorance of the essential qualities of female footwear is rather disappointing. The boots in question were probably being worn for your benefit you big harrumphing fool. Were they slim fitting, with spike heels and made from the softest leather? You were supposed to imagine them rubbing gently against your ears not criticise them for their inadequacies. Would you rather she had attended the opera in a pair of hiking boots?<BR/><BR/>The choice between pain and comfort in footwear is one which creates great anxiety in women. But know this Bloke: if she had no hope of the evening going anywhere, she would have slipped into some horrid ballet pumps. So stop moaning...<BR/><BR/>Oh, and by the way...Cov G to The Ivy in 5 minutes? She would have needed Nikes and I'm guessing you're not moving like Linford Christie any time soon. It's at least 8 minutes away.Helioshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16069473125005529973noreply@blogger.com